Cuts and Bruises
by DeepInTheShadows12345
Summary: When Morgan finds Reid's suicide note at his house, he rushes straight to Reid's apartment. Will he be too late? SPOILER ALERT 2x15 mentions of suicide and drug use.


Hello everyone! This is my best Reid/Morgan story so far! Hope you enjoy

Spoilers for 2x15 (Revelations)

ENJOY!

Morgan walked into his room and threw his jacket on his bed. He'd had a long, stressful day. He kept replaying the scene in his head, of when Reid left the office. He was in a hurry. His head was low, and his pace was quicker than normal, like he was in a rush. Morgan wondered if he was okay, but he just let him go. That was his first and last mistake.

As his jacket landed, he heard a strange crumbling noise. He picked it back up, and saw a small white envelope with his name on it. He picked it up, and opened it. He took the folded piece of paper out of it, unfolded it, and began to read it. What he read made his chest tight. It made him uneasy. He had tears streaming down his face before he was finished reading. He finally lost control of himself as he read the last line on the sheet of white notebook paper.

'_I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me…'_

Morgan re-read the note a few times before finally putting it down. Tears flowed from his eyes. His hand was in a fist as he punched his wall in frustration.

_-3 Days Earlier-_

Morgan knew something was up with Reid. He'd been acting strange. He didn't want to pry into his personal life, but he didn't want to let it go either.

"Hey kid, can we talk?" Morgan asked quietly. Reid didn't say anything, but walked over to where Morgan was standing. "What's up with you?"

"What do you mean 'what's up with me'?" He snapped back.

Morgan was a little surprised by his response. "You've been really quiet lately. You haven't been spouting out random facts. You're always in a hurry to leave, you always look down. What's up with that? What's going on with you?"

Reid refused to make eye contact with Morgan, which really bothered him. Reid was staring at his shoes, and biting his lip. "Reid?" Morgan tried to get his attention again.

Suddenly Reid barked "Why does it matter?"

Morgan was shocked by his response but remained calm. "Reid…" He never thought he'd have to explain to him why it mattered to him. Before he could continue, Reid spat at him.

"Why, Morgan? Why do you care?" Reid closed his eyes tight. He tried to hold back his tears.

Morgan was shaken up about Reid's odd behavior. Why was he acting like this?

"Kid, I'm your best friend. I'll always be here for you. I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk, I'm right here." He wanted Reid to talk to him. To tell him what's wrong. He wanted so desperately to hold the little genius. To make everything better. He knew that it was probably the dilaudid. The Tobias Hankel case had only been a few weeks ago. He wished he could help Reid more.

Reid made a mumble kind of noise before walking away from Morgan. He watched him for a few minutes. He noticed when Reid went to grab a case file, on his wrist there was a small scratch or cut of some sort. He studied it for a moment, it almost seemed like it was in a shape of something. An N? Morgan blinked a few times and thought it was better not to think too hard about it.

Later on that night, they had arrived at their hotel. They had been told they would have to share rooms. Surprisingly no one argued. Morgan and Reid were together. As usual.

After everyone was settled in, they decided that they desperately needed sleep, and no one had a problem slipping into their dreams. Morgan, however, could barely sit still. He was full of energy. He looked across the room to see Reid sleeping. Reid looked so peaceful when he slept. Morgan suddenly had a flash of memories. He recalled every fun moment he'd ever had with Reid. He was his best friend after all. He'd remembered all their cases together, the nights that the team went out together. He then remembered a few weeks ago.

Tobias Hankel.

He suddenly seemed to remember how Reid had a serious problem. It broke Morgan's heart to see Reid using. He fully understands that it wasn't his choice, and he knows how hard it is, because he wants to stop. He wants so badly to stop. The Tobias Hankel case tore Morgan to pieces. Terrible and guilty were understatements for the way he felt. He knew he should have been there for him. He hated how he could see Reid suffer (not to mention die) via webcam, and there was nothing he could do. He knew JJ had felt every bit as guilty as he had. They were both set on bringing him home alive.

Morgan's eyes let a tear escape onto his pillow as he laid his head down in his hotel bed. He thought about all Reid's scars on his elbow from all the needles. His head was spinning, and flashing with so many different memories.

Then he thought about the cuts he saw on his other wrist earlier today, at the office. He wondered what they were. He wondered how they got there. It wasn't that he was afraid to ask, it was he was kind of afraid to find out. And he didn't want to make Reid any angrier with him, knowing that he almost pushed the boundaries earlier today.

The next morning went by rather quickly. They finished putting the pieces together and captured the unsub. Before they knew it, they were on the jet, heading home.

It was relatively quiet. Hotch was looking over a folder, probably doing a report, Emily and JJ were whispering to each other about something. Rossi was reading. Morgan was listening to his music, like he always did. And Reid was staring out a window. His head was resting on his hand as he slouched in his seat. Morgan was watching him, wondering what was going through his head.

Spencer Reid was in fact thinking about Morgan. He loved how Morgan cared about him, but he didn't want to worry him. He didn't want him to know what he was really like, when they weren't at work. He didn't want him to know that his dilaudid problem had gotten worse since Gideon left, and how he had been in a depression since he had found out Gideon wasn't coming back. He didn't want him to know how he loved him. He was afraid. He was afraid of rejection. And he definitely did not want Morgan to know about the self caused cuts on his arms. He didn't want him to know, for surely, he thought, Morgan would judge him. Reid looked up to see Morgan staring at him. "Hey." He said as his voice cracked. He attempted a smile.

"Hey, pretty boy." Morgan managed to smile back. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah." Reid replied. "Sorry about yesterday." He apologized.

"It's okay."

"I just…I don't know." Reid started.

"You don't have to explain if you don't want to. If you wanna talk, I'll be here." Morgan said.

There was a short silence.

"Morgan?" Reid asked quietly, as if not to bother their teammates.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for caring so much about me." He smiled, a genuine smile, and brushed the hair out of his face.

"Anytime, Pretty Boy." Morgan smiled back at Reid. He tried to block out every horrific memory he had, but it seemed those were the only thing he could think about on the way back to Quantico.

When they arrived back home, they all started in on their paperwork. None of them were too tired to call it quits quite yet.

Reid was the first to leave, seeing as how he was the first one done. He seemed almost in a hurry. As he stepped into the elevator, he turned around, pressed a button to the floor he wanted and then looked up. He met Morgan's gaze. He smiled. Morgan returned the smile. He saw that Reid's eyes weren't smiling. No, Reid's eyes were full of sadness. And for a brief second, Morgan thought he might have seen tears. He wondered why, but he decided to let him go. His first and last mistake.

He walked into his room and threw his jacket on his bed. As his jacket landed, he heard a strange crumbling noise. He picked it back up, and saw a small white envelope with his name on it. He picked it up, and opened it. He took the folded piece of paper out of it, unfolded it, and began to read it. What he read made his chest tight. It made him uneasy.

The note read:

_Morgan,_

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I just couldn't handle the stress. _

_I've been thinking a lot lately and I've come to the conclusion that I love you. Yes, that's right, I love you Derek Morgan. And I know that I would never have been able to build up enough courage to tell you. I know that you probably don't feel the same, and if that's the case then I would have just ruined our friendship by telling you. I couldn't handle the stress of being by you all the time, and not being able to tell you how I really felt. I couldn't handle the stress of our job and knowing I could loose you any moment when you were out in the field. I know this might come as a shock, but, it's the complete truth. Today I have concluded that it ends here._

_I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me…_

_Love always,_

_-Reid_

Morgan re-read the note a few times before finally putting it down. Tears flowed from his eyes. His hand was in a fist as he punched his wall in frustration.

-Present time-

Tears traveled down his face and hit the paper below. He looked up for a moment as a thought crossed his mind.

Where's Spencer?

He ran down to his car faster than he thought possible and started it. He pulled out into the road and headed straight for Reid's apartment. He took out his phone and punched in 3 familiar numbers. "9-1-1, what's your emergency?" was heard on the other line. Morgan gave then the address of Reid's apartment. He gave them directions, the floor number, the apartment number, and anything else they needed to know.

"There is possibly an FBI Agent in serious trouble!" Morgan told them. The operator on the other end of the phone told him that an ambulance was on its way, and he hung up the phone.

He couldn't even wrap his head around the fact that he'd found a suicide note in his apartment. He hoped he wasn't too late. Tears poured down his face.

He dialed Reid's number, he awaited the answer on the other line, but knew it was never going to come. He threw his phone into the passenger seat angrily when there was no answer. The flow of tears going down his face were hot and angry, and sad.

'Why would Spencer do this?' Was a thought running through Morgan's head. 'What if I get there too late?' was a thought he was desperately tried not to think about. He pulled into the parking lot. He didn't bother parking his car the right way, but he did however quickly turn it off, before darting into the building. He ran up the stairs of the apartment building as fast as he possibly could. 'I'm coming, Pretty Boy!' He thought. He couldn't even imagine a world without Spencer. Without his Pretty Boy.

He, like Reid, was afraid of rejection. He never told anyone of his feelings for Reid, because he wasn't really sure of them himself. Now he was certain. He was in love with Spencer Reid.

He made his way into Reid's apartment. He quickly realized that he was in the bathroom . The door was partially opened already. Morgan opened it all that way and was horrified with what he saw. It was worse than his nightmares. It was worse than his nightmares because this was real. He knew he would never be able to get this image out of his mind, He wouldn't forget. He couldn't forget.

A dozen needles lay scattered everywhere. Spencer was laying on the floor , one arm across his chest which was drenched in blood. And his hair was covering his face. He was wearing shorts, which only made it easier to see the fresh cuts and bruises on his legs. So many cuts and bruises. He lay in a puddle of his own blood. The amount of cuts on his chest and stomach were almost unbearable to look at. Morgan stood horrified, looking at the love of his life lay in front of him.

Was he dead…?

Morgan scooped Reid into his arms. His chest wasn't moving, but he was breathing. Just barely, but still breathing.

"Spencer!" He yelled, trying to shake the boy into consciousness. "Oh my god!" He screamed. Tears were quickly streaking down his face. "Spencer!" He screamed again. There was silence for a few seconds and then Morgan whispered ;

"Why…?"

He thought about Spencer's suicide note. Everything added up. Spencer was just a scared kid. He was confused. He was scared just like Morgan was. The only thing that didn't make sense is why he had to take it to such an extreme level as to try and kill himself.

Morgan tried to find a reason. Thinking back at the note, he finally concluded that Reid was terrified that if he admitted that he liked him, he would ruin their friendship. He would rather die, than ruin their close friendship. The thought of that only made Morgan cry harder.

The paramedics rushed into the room, put Spencer on a stretcher and quickly left. Morgan followed closely behind. He cried as he watched them put Spencer into the ambulance. "Do you want to ride with him?" The EMT asked. Morgan nodded his head, and jumped in, before they slammed the doors shut. As the EMT's started wiping the blood off Reid, Morgan saw his arm. The one with the most cuts on it. The on with the most bruised flesh. Engraved on Spencer's arm was Morgan's name. Morgan stared at it, his tears coming faster. They dripped off his chin and landed on the floor of the ambulance.

'I Love You Derek Morgan' Was sliced into his arm. Perfect, straight cuts. Right below that read 'Forever And Always.' In tiny letters.

He wondered if it would scar Spencer's perfect skin. They were deep cuts. He was sure they would scar. They would scar just like the needles from Tobias Hankel had. Morgan couldn't stop crying, even after Reid had been checked into the hospital. He was waiting it the emergency room as the doctors tried to stabilize his pale, unconscious love. He couldn't stop wondering about how much blood he'd lost. He looked down at himself. Morgan was covered in Spencer Reid's blood.

His tears finally slowed. He wondered if his Pretty Boy was going to make it. He couldn't bare losing his best friend.

Nearly an hour later a doctor tapped Morgan on the shoulder. "You can go in and see him now. He's conscious, but don't push him." He thanked the doctor and walked into Reid's hospital room, seeing blood bags and IV's of all sorts stuck in his arms. His only thought was 'At least those needles aren't being used for…' he had to stop himself from thinking about how Spencer was so badly addicted to dilaudid. It broke his heart.

He wondered how the rest of the team would react. He was sure JJ would be devastated. JJ and Reid were close. He knew Garcia was the most emotional, and she would cry just as hard JJ would. Morgan was so full of guilt, he almost could look at the small frame laying in the white hospital bed.

Reid had his eyes shut. Morgan didn't say anything, but he sat down next to his bed. Reid moved in the uncomfortable hospital bed. After a few silent minutes, he fluttered his beautiful brown eyes open. He looked over at Morgan, just for a second, and then quickly looked away. He started to cry. Now both men had a streams of tears rolling down they're faces.

Spencer sniffled a few times and then broke the silence. "Morgan, I—" He started.

Morgan cut in. "Pretty Boy, you don't have to say anything." There was another small silence. "Spencer, you really scared me." He sighed. He had spoke to Reid using his first name, which meant he was serious.

Reid looked up at Morgan. "I said I was sorry." He sniffled again, wiping away the tears.

"I know… And I love you too." Morgan looked at Reid with an unreadable expression on his face.

"What?" Reid questioned.

"I love you too." He repeated.

Another tear made its way down his cheek. "Really?" He widened his eyes a little, and raised his eye brows. His eyes were full of happiness, which was something Morgan hadn't seen in a long time.

The expression on Reid's face made Morgan smile. "Yes." He answered. "And I've always wanted to tell you, but I didn't think I ever could. I'm just really pissed off that it had to get this far for me to realize I had nothing to be afraid of."

Morgan leaned in close, and gave Reid a gentle kiss. "I've wanted to do that for a really long time." He announced. Reid smiled. "Spencer Reid," He paused, "will you be mine?"

"Forever and always." He replied. Another tear came and went, wetting his cheek once again. "I love you Derek Morgan." He stated with the happiest of all smiles on his face.

"I love you too, Spencer Reid."

The two men finally admitted they're undying love for each other. They no longer had to be afraid of hiding it. Neither of them had ever been as happy as they were that day, when they both came out and finally said those three little words that meant the world to both of them.


End file.
